A friday to ourselves

Today well yesterday Nate and I both had the day off work but both boys had school it was nice, I mean it started late but still it was nice.  I had to get up at seven still to get the boys to school but after that my day was free.  Nate had stayed up rather late and didn’t wake up til noonish, we ran some errands and had a lovely lunch just the two of us.  I miss that time when it’s just us I have friends who could watch the boys while we have a “date” but Nate doesn’t like to ask for help or as he puts it to impose on our friends.  I try to explain they are willing to help and have offered graciously, still he says no.  Sometimes I wonder if he’s just grown complacent or if for him this is comfortable.  I love my husband but I wish we spent more time one on one without the kids or other distractions that come up in daily life. 

My boys are almost done with this year of school and it was a trying time, we moved in the middle of a semester which is not something we do.  Usually our moves are scheduled in the summer so they don’t interfere with their school.  It couldn’t be helped this time though and they adjusted well with the hiccups along the way.  With summer fast approaching I can’t help but wonder what lies ahead.

On another note one that has little to nothing to do with the post I made another blog one that chronicles my time as a Gamer widow. http://gamewidow.tumblr.com/  If you want to check it out feel free to by all means, it’s a video blog a light hearted take as opposed to this autobiographical one. 

So up to date

I know I need to post more often but I’ve laid it essentially all out there so to speak.  I don’t want to harp on about things in my past and open old wounds.  I would like to refrain from speaking ill over the teen moms of today though in truth that was my original intention.  I’m happy in my life how it is now, I love my kids and love my husband, I’m content.  Wish I had more friends but meh what are you gonna do?  Anyway I’ll post more mainly about my life how it is now but if anyone has any question about my past or anything feel free to ask.  

What else

Lets see honestly I could answer any question if I had any followers but I know I don’t really post enough for that, up to date information we’ve moved three time in the last six years.  We lived in England for three years, then we moved to Arizona then Texas, and now Virginia.  I was hoping we’d get “stuck” here but it looks like that’s not going to happen.  I miss having roots and staying someplace for a long time.  I grew up in one city and only moved once when I was two.  I hate to imagine what kind of wanderlust I’m instilling in my kids.

Life after high school

Like I said before right after high school Nate and I got married, but little changed we even had a falling out.  People think love is some romantic adventure, but it’s work marriage is making a commitment to someone.  It also saying not only do I love you for who you are now but I know I’ll love you for whom ever you become.  That’s a lot when you love some one so much its unconditional that’s when you found the one.  I’m not saying they could become a dirt bag who beats you and you stick around no there are sometimes when the best thing is to cut and run, but you still have feelings.  Your heart and your mind get into conflict that is always true especially when it comes to love.  Even though Nate grew distant and I ran my mouth we came threw we both admitted to making mistakes.  We forgave each other and promised to be honest with each other to talk things out between us and to be there for each other.  After we patched things up I moved into his moms house, his mom hated me.  She complained constantly to him about me, which infuriated me it was her house and I was living there she could have easily pulled me aside and had words with me.  Instead she went behind my back to complain about me was that how Nate felt when I had done the same thing only months before?  I felt like an ass.  I was working still and taking classes at the local community college I complained about work all the time.  Nate said I should concentrate on school if that was important to me so I did thinking I would make it threw.  It was hard I wanted to give up, that and my heart wasn’t in my studies it was clear I had chosen the wrong major.  I had elected to skip the general studies and go for a certification program for aviation maintenance.  I though if my mom could do it so could I but I couldn’t fake it, Talking about it with Nate he convinced me to drop out of school, looking back I should have just switched majors.  After I gave up working and school things at home got worse, first Nancy would tell Nate that I was smart in being in school since he had elected to quit his job after he signed his contract with the air force and he wasn’t doing anything while waiting for their call.  They never called and eventually he had to call them to find out they had a spot for him.  When he went to basic it was difficult I was used to being on my own with the boys what was hard was staying at his moms house without him.  Since I knew she had it out for me already, she never wanted us to get married she thought he’d be better off paying child support and moving on.  That hurt but it wasn’t her opinion I really had to worry about it was her son’s.  After two weeks of Nate being gone I moved back in with my parents, I didn’t feel welcome or like family at my mother in laws, she made it evident that she didn’t want me there.  Four weeks went by so slow but when it was over we got to see Nate again the base he was supposed to be transported to got hit by hurricane Katrina then Rita while he was in Basic.  They told him he could sit in holding at basic til the base was fixed and they could find quarters for his family or he could pick another job.  He chose another job and a month later me and the boys followed him to northern Texas.  It was the first time I had ever moved but I was ready to go the boys were sad to say goodbye to their grandparents but glad to see their daddy.  The apartment we lived in was a dump, I cleaned it as best I could but the place was riddled with silver fish and german water bugs.  There wasn’t a lot to do but the kids kept me busy, I just felt bad that I didn’t have a chance to take them out to do stuff more.  But Nate kept the car since he had to be at school at five in the morning, he came home and studied.  It was hard because even though he was physically present he was busy with school.  He made time for us especially on the weekends taking us to town and parks, our family time was great and it seemed our relationship was stronger than ever.