Less than a year after being married
and our honeymoon period was well over. Nate and I got married the summer after our high school graduation Ethan was three Aiden was a year and a lil over a year old. The only people who were at our wedding were the boys and my parents, I asked Nate if he wanted to call his mother and he said no to this day she blames me for that.
I thought after we got married things would change, that he would move in to my parents house or have me move in with him and his mom. Instead he said it would be best for us to stay where we were, that I shouldn’t go to his mom’s house cause she was a clean freak and it would grate on me. And that I shouldn’t expect him to move in with my family because we didn’t have a life style he was accustomed to. My family was a bit poorer than his, my mom was the only one that worked and she only worked one job, his mom had three jobs was never hone and had alimony and child support. His mom also spoiled him and his brother with everything from the latest video games and electronics to brand name clothes they really didn’t care about.
It was rough his mom would fill my head with ideas of what would happen and when it never did I felt betrayed. So I started complaining about my situation and his lack of real commitment to any one that would listen. He got word of it because I worked at the same place as his mom so she’d go home and ask if what I said was true. Eventually this wore on our relationship, he started flirting online and got close with some girl from California. One day he asked me to go over and he told me to my face that he no longer loved me, I was shocked because even though we weren’t communicating my immature mind thought eventually it would just magically get better, he’d grow up and realize he was wrong or whatever. When he said it was over I thought my life was over, he was all I’d ever known I had never even considered being with anyone else.
I was still going to school and working at night I stopped calling him and when he’d call our conversations were always about the kids, we decided to pretend in front of everyone else that things were fine. After two months I felt like I was over him that I was confident I didn’t need him. He wasn’t working at the time having quit his day job confident that the air force would all him on his contract any day. Knowing that the military was his dream I chose to put off filling for divorce so that he could finish basic first. I didn’t care about getting alimony or child support and as far as I was concerned whenever we did divorce I didn’t want anything from him because I was done.
There were a few times where I could have used his help but my pride didn’t want me to turn to him for anything. His mother deemed it necessary to let me know that he was going to California to fuck his new girlfriend and that she hoped he’d be fine. I was once again shocked and appalled at his mother’s tactless nature and again I complained. A couple of incidents occurred where we were in close quarters and it was awkward he tried to talk to me and knew I didn’t want to even be in the same room with him but still he tried to put out an olive branch.
A week or a few days before he was due to go cross country to fuck a stranger a Disney on ice show was coming to town and he decided to take Ethan I said sure because I thought every moment he spent with his children was precious knowing that once we did finally part ways they’d rarely see him since if he was going into the air force still he’d move a lot. He took Ethan they had a good time, then I find out his mom gave him money for his trip, at work she complains to me about his poor decisions then she fuels said mistakes, WTF LADY. She gave him three hundred dollars he spent half on his outing with Ethan, when his girlfriend found out she got so mad. That’s when he realized what a mistake he’d made and broke it off with her.
A few days later I was at school and he text messages me on my cell phone, but he uses his email to do it his screen name doesn’t register in my mind so I’m like wrong number. He texted me a few times about how wrong he was how he’d made a mistake and he was sorry. I kept wondering who the fuck was texting me in the middle of the day. Later in the day he called me at home and asked if I got his messages, I said now and he said he had texted me like five times and I was like that was you? You know I have school in the middle of the day you can’t just text me next time if its important call me. He apologized then asked how I felt and I was just like the fuck get away from me.
At this point it was like march and my dad was hounding me pretty hard about what was going on in my relationship and what I was doing with my life. When we fought me and my dad I mean it got pretty heated and many times I wanted to throw a punch. Many times I would raise my voice which he would respond in like and the screaming would scare the kids quickly realizing this I would lower my voice and ask for him to do the same which he would yell at me how dare I ask him to calm down when I was the one who started yelling.
One night Nate came over, begging and pleading that I take him back that he missed me and the boys that he was a douche and he was sorry. Nate said he understood if I never forgave him and if I hated him forever which I mean I didn’t think I could forgive him not right away at least. But he presented and out, a way to move out of my parents and get away from my dick head of a dad cause trust me he was, I realize he cared and he didn’t want whatever blah blah blah but I hate my dad now because of that and many many other things since then and a few well before. So I said I wasn’t sure and that I needed to think about it, he left and all I could think was it was my chance a few days later I told him we’d have to work on our relationship but for now i was taking him back and that it meant he’d have to earn back my trust. Did I really mean everything I said prolly not but at that point it mattered little.
