Not a lot but at the same time a whole bunch, I had AJ the summer before my senior year of high school. That means the last year of my high school experience I was a mother of two. Even though it was hard with just one and I knew with another baby it would be twice as hard I was determined to see it threw. Nate said he wouldn’t marry me if I dropped out of high school which gave me added motivation, but I had my own drive. Knowing there was a light at the end of the tunnel was nice, also since I had done well my previous three years I could coast or so I thought. I ended up failing English and had to take a make up course in the evenings at a another school. By this time Nate came by less and less to see me and the boys and it made me think we weren’t going to last. I kept my fears to myself but they got stirred up every time my dad would ask when Nate was planning on stopping by. After graduation I started working at the mall with Nancy it was an easy job that paid well enough being just out of high school I didn’t need much. I still didn’t have bills of my own yet since I was living at home I just needed to make enough to supplement my mother take home pay. About a month after graduating Nate and I decided to go to the nearest justice of the peace we had already obtained a marriage license by then. I thought after we got married I’d move in with Nate the kids in tow, or he’d come live with my parents and we’d wait for the air force to call him in for basic. He then told me that his mom was too anal about her house and living with her wouldn’t be ideal with how messy little ones can be. I asked if he’d consider moving in with my family and he said no with out skipping a beat, something about my parents not having everything he needed or had grown accustomed to. My parents didn’t have cable and up til then no internet either, we’d only barely gotten a computer and printer which was a dot matrix. He assured me that since he’d already signed a contract it was only a matter of time before we moved together and getting a place of our own would be a waste of money and time. I grudgingly agreed even though I didn’t like that I was stuck living with my parents. My father and I had grown hostile our disagreements were not easy ones that were absolved quickly or easily. The days wore on slow and even though I would take the boys to see Nate on the regular it wasn’t what I had hoped us getting married would be. I knew I had to be patient I had waited this long already, but I began to question why I was the one that always visited him. Nate began to take regular excursions out of town with friends only telling me after his plans were made like a heads up would suffice. I grew resentful of his freedom and when I would try and tell him how much it displeased me all he would say is it wasn’t his fault my dad was so strict. As if having kids wasn’t part of it that because we were still only teen agers we should still have freedom. I began complaining to everyone who would listen and he would hear about because his mom would report back to him what I was saying when she would agree with what I was saying when she was with me. Her two faced nature wore a wedge between us until Nate decided he’d had enough and told me it was over, he was done. I was hurt nothing had really happened passed a judge signing a paper saying we were married I felt like I had been lied to or cheated. Love isn’t easy and sometimes there’s no going back. Eventually he came back but I was different we never got divorced but I will never love anyone not even Nate the way I loved him all those years before.